Do I Really Want To Travel??

I'D RATHER DRIVE

So this is what it's come to:

When you travel by air these days, not only do you have to pay for your ticket, pay to have your luggage checked, pay to have a sandwich on your flight and pay to listen to music or watch an in-flight movie, you also have to arrive an hour and a half early to go through preflight security screening. Oh, by the way, don't forget to tip the luggage handler or the bags that you PAID to get checked may end up in Nome, Alaska instead of Miami, Florida (that may happen even if you do tip the baggage handler). And don't forget to keep your eyes open for unusual or strange unattended packages laying about....When the person sitting next to you while waiting for your flight (which is usually delayed) asks if you can watch his bag while he uses the restroom, you'd better be certain that he isn't leaving the airport instead and leaving you holding the “BOOM” bag.

Then what is with this new directive from T.S.A?? So now, it's not good enough to take off your shoes, remove your belt, watches, wallets, and any other metallic objects from your person, open your carry on luggage, and let them wave some magic wand around your body after you walk through a metal detector if and when it goes off. God help you if you have metal buttons on your clothing. And for God sake, do not have a nail file, cigarette lighter or pen knife on your person... you may go to jail...a nail clipper is a no no also...you might clip the nose hairs off the pilot and send the plane to a fiery crash. Oh, I almost forgot, don't carry more than 2 onces of shampoo or breast milk to feed the (crying) baby. They may be explosive. You get the drift...Now, we need to be exposed to full body scans or ENHANCED body pat downs. I can hardly wait for the day that pictures of these body scans start showing up on U Tube...you know they will...(look at this picture, and check out this guys “junk” or “look at that girls breasts...you can see the implants”). So, if you don't want the scan, you opt for the pat down...which is quite thorough. If I or a police officer were to pat someone down like the TSA personnel do, we would be put in jail for 15 to 25 years and have to live the rest of our lives on the “Sex Offenders List” (and the cop would loose his job...me too!). Of course, for some people, after the pat down, they may want to have a cigarette.... but there's no smoking in the airport (nor anywhere else) so you only get the thrill and not the after glow. Maybe, just maybe, the powers (dictator of National Security) should put all those pat-down personnel at our southern border and we could pat down all the illegals that WALK across our borders with no one to stop them. Then we wouldn't have to subject AMERICAN CITIZENS to the afore mentioned indignities.....who knows, maybe the illegals might like it...or not.

So,why in hell would anyone want to travel by air. I mean, sure it's safer than driving and it's quicker too, but why would anyone want to put up with the hassle? I mean if you're just going to Chicago or New York or Minneapolis from Michigan, it's a one day drive.... five or six hours. Figure it out. An hour to drive to the airport, $10.00 a day to park your car, half an hour to get to the terminal from the parking lot, arrive an hour early to go through security, delayed flight, half an hour to get off the plane, half an hour to find your luggage (if it arrived with you) another hour before you get to your rental car and another half hour to find your rental car.....(don't forget to purchase the optional collision insurance for the rental car). As far as I'm concerned, I'd just rather drive. I can stop and have an enjoyable lunch for $8.00, have someone serve me, stretch out at a table and relax...take time to chat with your traveling companion and not be cramped up leaning over some postage stamp sized table(?) while eating some stale old rolled up mystery meat sandwich while balancing a cup of coffee on the postage stamp tray (while the kid behind you is kicking your seat back...and his parent is oblivious). No, I've given up on the airlines. I think that if I have to go overseas, it'll be a boat trip for me....I'm not flying anymore...it's too much trouble. Besides, I can talk on the phone, text, listen to my mp3, upload songs and my navigation device will talk to me and tell me how to get to my destination in a sexy female voice....and it won't tell me what to do in the event of a water landing....it's time to drive.